Me & the Family

Me & the Family

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Clash of the Personas!

Most of you who know me from reading my can wrap up my personality from those blogs.  I write from myself, by myself with every personal flaw out there.

I am me.

In my life I have been blessed with many many friends.  In high school I did not hang out with the cheerleaders but I did know them.  I had no desire to be anything other than myself and I felt that to be friends with them...well I would no longer be me.  I may have put that judgement on them myself, but that is how I felt.  They were in a class all their own and quite frankly...they could remain there.

Even though I am somewhat quiet and reserved (until you know me, that is) my best friend in high school would tell anyone whatever she needed to.  If she was mad, she'd let you know what you did to get her there.  I look at that as not being over powering, but rather being completely honest with herself and others.

Something that I may not always been.

Be it my personality...or inherited insanity...I have battled being honest with myself or others, especially when it comes to a clash in personalities.  I am an anti-confrontation kinda girl.


Ignore it and maybe the problem will go away?

For the most part, personalities concerned, this has worked pretty good for me.  If someone rubs me wrong well, I just steer clear of them.  I'm nice to all I meet I just know who not to get into bed with.  My personality will not compete with another and I will not get into a position in which I am run over.

Honestly, it's never really been a concern.
Until recently.

Be it that God is trying to teach me another lesson in life, I still have not quite figured out how he wants me to handle this one?  

You see, I have told you the love I have for my neighbors.  Our group has been growing in love and experiences over the past several years.  Family trials.  Hugs.  Parties.  We have become a really close group of friends that are more like family than neighbors.  

Well, our group has grown.  

A neighbor that I did not know due to working etc, made her way down to our end of the block a while back.  She was amazed at how fun we were, how honest we were with one another, and how we encouraged and supported each other.  She wanted a piece of the pie.

And so here she is.

Now this neighbor is a good woman.  She has a great heart and cares deeply about all of us.  She has us in mind wherever and whatever she is doing and will surprise each of us with a find (like plastic kid cups)...just like we all do for one another.  If you find something your sister loves well you just buy it!  She calls and checks up on us, hugs us at the bus stop, etc.

Based on what I wrote it seems she needs an award, right?

This is my problem...

I feel as though I have been steamrolled by her friendship.  You see, our relationships as neighbors into friends and then further into a "sister" type relationship was gradual.  We waded into this pool and it grew and grew.  Even though we do not know every detail of our lives we know a lot.  We also, I truly believe, know the heart of one another.  Even with skeletons, tragedies, mistakes and lessons learned we trust each other with our lives, with our children's lives...

I know that God loves all of us.  I know that God wants us to love others even if they are not like us.  I know this.  I really do.  I know that I need to embrace this neighbor but for whatever reason I get all stressed out instead.  

I have questioned myself...

Can I say something to help her understand it's too much too fast?

Should I say anything at all?

Do I just continue to love and embrace her and on the inside feel attacked?

It's just the weirdest thing for me to ever experience.  This is the first time I have encountered someone like this.  Maybe it was her upbringing as a navy daughter or the fact that she's Italian.  I guess it does not matter the WHY.

You see, if my Spanish family stresses me out, which they can, I know that eventually they will go home.  As much as I love them they are not living with me NOR do I have to deal with them on a daily/friendship level.  I do not come to them with problems because I do not need them to solve them for me.  I can distance myself from them...

And the stress they create within me.

But this is my neighbor.  This is the first time that she will not be moving because of the military.  Her husband has finished up his time and this is their house forever.  This is the first time that they get permanent friends and neighbors.  It's good to be there for them.  To be there friend...

But I have to learn how to deal with...
the personality.

I was reading an article by Rick Warren in which he talks about clashing personalities and trouble makers...

THE SHERMAN TANK - will run over you if you let him.
THE MEGAPHONE - will talk your ear off.
THE BUBBLE BUSTER - deflates everyone's enthusiasm.
THE VOLCANO - has a temper like Mt. St. Helens.
THE CRY BABY - is a chronic complainer.
THE NIT PICKER - is the unpleasable perfectionist. 
THE SPACE CADET - is on a different wavelength.  

God says to love your neighbors.  He does not say love your neighbors IF they have a good personality.  I should not love any neighbor any LESS then another, right?  It is not as though my neighbor is trying to stress us out.  She's trying to love we love one another.

So...what does one do?

Let's here it peeeps.  Have you had to deal with a clashing personality that you knew you had to learn how to love?  How did you do it?