Me & the Family

Me & the Family

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Killer Chocolate!!!!

I have been having one of those days.  Maybe even one of those weeks.  It is clearly similar to those that are identified as P. M. S.

I am not sure if that is what is to blame, but they are oddly similar to the feelings I have and the venom that has been spewing out of me.  My sister, Tracy, was dying laughing as I recalled the events of Christmas Day...and although those said events are funny today, they were not funny at that very moment.

This is all leading up to something.

Something that should have helped me get this sheer frustration that has enveloped me, but instead of assisting it sent me into the biggest tizzy over something clearly not that important.

Or is it?

To all of my friends out there that are women...we all know the power of chocolate.  One moment we want to kill someone and after tearing open that little morsel of's as though some alcohol has been released in the body.  The body relaxing just a little bit and your eyes may even roll back in your head.  


You can feel it right?  How you feel when you bite into that dark or milk chocolate-E goodness.

My chocolate of choice?

Dove dark chocolate.  It's dark yet it's smooth.  I enjoy their milk chocolate as well but apparently I am so sweet that I need to counter it with bitter chocolate.

That's what I tell myself at least.  :)

Not only do I love the chocolate...I love that there are little notes to me INSIDE the wrapper.  

"Happiness is celebrating the little things."
"Listen to your heart and dance."
"Be a little mysterious."
"Chocolate always loves you back."

You get the point, right?  Not only does this chocolate taste spectacular but it tells me good things.  Things that make me calm down and smell the chocolate.  It brings happiness not only on my taste buds, calms my nerves and lowers my cholesterol, but it also says nice things to me.  Reminders of how I should live.

Until now.

In all my stress I broke into my dark chocolate goodness, placed it on my tongue and awaited the surge to hit...and as I did I remembered my wrapper.  Excited as though I was opening a Christmas present I looked upon as the chocolate lay melting on my tongue.

Only to read something about adding pebbles to my tree stand....


It was as though the soothing of the chocolate vanished and the angry PMS girl came flying back into me.  So here I sit at my computer with all my Dove chocolate laid open so I can tell you what CRAP they put in the wrappers.

"Fill a glass jar with candies and wrap it with a festive bow"
"Create a whimsical wreath with gumdrops."
"Instead of exchanging gifts, put money towards a family trip."
"Make a wreath of gingerbread dusted with sugar."
"Roll ice cream scoops in coconut for snowman inspired treats."
"Ornaments add inexpensive sparkle to the table."
"Use colored beads to make beautiful ornaments."
"Wrap presents in vintage linens from holidays past."
"Try roast goose instead of turkey for an old-world menu."
"Make and freeze hors d'oeuvres in advance."

There are more but I think you get the point.  I love cooking.  I love baking. I love entertaining.  I do NOT like being reminded of things I need to do when I am enjoying a fine piece of chocolate...

ESPECIALLY when suffering from depression OR PMS.

So...I do not know if DOVE needs to make a bag specifically for those that need uplifting words...but there at LEAST needs to be a warning on the package for those that are, indeed, suffering from PMS to not buy this bag of chocolate because instead of soothing your anger it will provoke you to write a nasty blog about Martha Stewart.

Oh yeah...I forgot to mention that...and as you look at the list of quotes above you will see Martha Stewart written ALL OVER IT.

Martha Stewart will NOT cure your PMS or even help it a little bit.  She will destroy you and all things calming to you INCLUDING the love of your Dove Dark Chocolate.


Have you had any of this spectacular chocolate?  
Have you read the advice that she's giving you?

How does it make you feel?

I think I need to see a shrink. =P

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