Every morning I wake up with a mile long list of things to do. I am often amazed at how many things one must complete in one day...and then realize that although trivial things they are nearly impossible to complete! Well, at least it seems that way.
The new me.
I have to think of myself like that. There have been so many changes in my life that I am accepting a new me to deal with all of these things. No, I am not creating an alternative personality, just an adjustment in my life and way of thinking. Instead of planning for this new invented me, I am BEING this new me.
Most of you know that I watch a little girl every day. She is now 21 months old. She holds a very special place in my heart...my little Bug. To me she is like a little niece: part of the family and adored as my own. Isn't that what being an Auntie is all about? Loving your nieces and nephews as they were your own???
Well, this adventuresome toddler is nearing her two's and of course, that bring a whole new set of trials. This week I also began watching another little boy full time. Little Romeo is a sweet boy who is close to being 3. More or less, the kids are one year apart: just like my Tony and Sarah were. Having two comes with a whole new set of rules on running errands and going on "field trips," so this week we are adapting to each other. Of course the little Bug is having to learn how to share her Boppy.
You do know who Boppy is, don't you?
I am Boppy.
I created the name Boppy because when the Bug began to come here she would call me mom, because that's what the kids would call me. She had a terrible time saying my name...so Boppy was born. Mr. Romeo calls me Boppy too! Most of the kids on the block now refer to me as Boppy and during the day I talk about myself in the third party so much that it is only a matter of time before I reprimand a grown up...
"Now, Myrna, give Boppy that chair."
After getting acclimated with each other, next week we begin a learning program. Up until now we have just been playing and enjoying...but now it's time to add in some learning. So...next week's program is brought to you by the letter A and the number 1. :)
With the addition of another little person, I can no longer have breakfast with my friend, Ms. Jean. Ms. Jean became a widow last October when I was finally able to meet her. She's a young 83 year old who has the spirit of someone far younger than myself. She's sweet and silly and just a blast to be around. I enjoyed taking her breakfast every morning and spending that time with her. The Bug would eat with us as well. Unfortunately it would be very difficult to have breakfast with TWO little kids...not to mention all of Ms. Jean's breakables. I will have to find a solution to my problem...
The new me is watching a toddler and two year old.
The new me only has one sister alive as well.
I was able to spend nearly a week with my sister, Tracy. She came for a visit and although we didn't go and have any adventures, we spent time together. We both needed that therapy of each other. I think of my sister Amy often. It is hard not being able to call her tell her about all that is going on in my life and listening to her sweet voice as she asks me, "what else?" I have been so busy with my life that I have been unable to truly call my niece and nephew...and brother-in-law. All things that I need to put in place for the New Me.
One thing that I have been experiencing is in my dreams. For a long time I could not remember my dreams. Immediately after the wake and funeral I had some not so pleasant dreams. I don't know that I ever want to see someone I love in a coffin. After that though...it has been seemingly quiet.
Until this week.
This week I have had two separate dreams, both of which my sister was alive. The first one she had just been released from the hospital post-op and I was in the car with her. I was AMAZED at how well she was doing after having a serious surgery. She was laughing and talking...and driving. We pulled up to her house and my niece ran towards the car and Amy jumped out of the car and ran to her...car door still open and all! It was a glorious home coming. When I awoke there was definitely a longing to go back to sleep...because it just felt soooooo good. If you have seen the movie inception then you know what I am eluding to. The second dream did not last very long and the details are a bit foggy...as it would seem my mind was trying to argue with the dream making her be alive when she was not.
Such a weird concept.
Well, that's where I am at. Once upon a time I told you guys how I was going to be new...new to being a mom of three. Then I told you how I was going to be a new me...and become a housewife and stay-at-home mom. Then I became a caregiver to a sweet baby girl.
Now, this is the new me too.
How are YOU doing? Are there any NEW YOUS????