In evaluating myself recently I discovered that I have little to no desire (still) to drink. I would just rather not. You may or may not know that around the Easter I quit drinking for 40 days. It was really hard for me. I had found that my joy of having a beer became a need on stressful days. In times of NEED I want nothing but the Lord. I'm not saying that I haven't drank since then and I'm not saying that I haven't gotten tipsy since then. I'm saying that it's no longer my "norm."
My sister-in-law, whom I love to death, is often the one that I can really party it up with. When she and I get together...well we can easily become ridiculous. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but we are both tempted when the opportunity presents itself.
New Years 2010
Now remember I host a bible study at my home.
My sis in an attendee.
She and I have BOTH been praying about and trying to work through this flaw. This one aspect in our lives that we can throw God's law aside and...well...sin. To those that are not a christian you might way - WHATEVER, it's a drink or two.
No one is dying.
You aren't hurting any one.
You should have a good time.
Here's the thing - I have the Holy Spirit living inside me. I am where HE dwells. He grieves when I sin against God the Father. Therefore - getting just a little drunk is really BAD. Sin builds that wall that I was trying to tear down a year ago. It was a wall of sin. Communication had been cut off for me.
(paraphrase of Romans 8:1-17)
There is no more shame for we belong to Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit has freed us from the power of sin. We can follow the Spirit within us. Letting the Spirit control our mind leads to life and peace. Those dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things but those who are controlled by the Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. Under the sinful nature can never please God.
Last year we celebrated at my house. I stayed up that night dancing and pretty intoxicated until 3am. I will admit it openly. This year's New Years Eve party was at my friend/neighbor's house. New Years Eve this year I once again attempted to be a fool. I really did. You might laugh at that statement.
First, that I attempted it.
Second, that I failed at it.
It's true. I wanted some fun. I wanted to party. I wanted to let loose. Do you know how many New Year's Parties I have partied at over the years??? Never stopping for ANY REASON. My sis-n-law was there, my hubby was playing DJ, the bar was flowing and ...
i tried...
i tried by taking a few of shots
i drank a few of beers
had a glass of champagne
nothing.
NOTHING.
NOTHING.
My husband dismissed it.
I did not.
I really tried.
I was COMPLETELY SOBER.
You, like my husband, might say "whatever."
But seriously...NOTHING.
I know how drinks affect me. I had a drink at the same house the day before while setting up. I was buzzed off that drink before I walked back in the door 30 minutes later.
When we came home all I could think about was NEXT NEW YEARS and how I didn't want to do a party...that I wanted to do something with the kids. Maybe we can go somewhere together as a family? A theme park or something???
At our bible study on Tuesday I brought it up...the whole drinking thing. We have been studying about the Holy Spirit. The book is called The Forgotten God and it has truly been eye opening. When I brought up the whole New Year's Eve issue my sis-n-law, who was TRYING alongside me agreed...NOTHING.
She told her husband the same thing...
Like not let me get drunk??
And not let HER get drunk???
It's a lot to consider, but definitely something to consider! Here, within our bible study there are FOUR WOMEN.
#1 quit drinking when she became pregnant with her 2nd (3+ years ago) and never started again.
#2 doesn't really drink anymore because she now gets a headache INSTANTLY when she does. She LOOOVES tequila, but not any more.
here you will see three of us (middle to left) in '09
#3 & #4 That leaves me and my sis. Our DESIRE to drink has really vanished but even when we TRIED - we couldn't.
So what is this all about?
Well, for those that know me - all of this is my honestly. God cannot change me or help others unless you expose WHO YOU ARE. Sometimes I am weak. I have realized that I am less and less weak as God continues to make me stronger and stronger.
It was a strength that I didn't realize I lacked. It wasn't a strength that I ever thought I wanted or needed, yet here I am. I am a testament to all the bad things this world can offer, sinful nature at it's finest - and here God is still loving me and changing me for the better.
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With that I have a couple of questions - for those that are willing to answer them OUT LOUD I would love to hear them!
1) What has Jesus done for you?
2) What has God done for you lately??
3) What has the Holy Spirit done for you???
7 comments:
Strong and honest post. I will answer all 3 of your questions in one because they are one to me.
God has given me a peaceful mind and a giving heart. He has allowed me to live in his light and give all my worries and sorrows over to him. I am now an honestly happy woman. I gave him, me.
I'm happy to meet you, Jane. Your story is amazing. I'm sure you've been blessed. I'm in a good place to answer your questions now. I have just been through the four worst years of my life. In January 2008 my brother passed away of a stroke. As the year went on my mother began to deteriorate mentally, as dementia started to consume her mind. I went through agony for the next year trying to understand what was happening to her and how we could care for her. I know that God and Jesus helped me get through this difficult time. She is now in assisted living and doing well, and I have peace of mind again. The Lord sent me my wonderful husband to support me; he held me up and brought me through to the light again.
Jesus died for me--He took it all with him. He died for all of us--so that we could have a relationship with the Father.
The heavenly father has blessed me beyond measure. He has given me some of the best riches--family, love, friends, compassion, wisdom, discipline, knowledge.
The Holy Spirit is with me always. I don't know how to explain it other than even in the darkest nightmares (and yes this HAS happened) when I felt my heart race and my mind fear--I learned that I could call out to the Holy Spirit and he comforted me--in a dream!! A silly, scary dream--He is right there. He is there when I need Him at anytime. I just have to know He is always with me--as my comfort, my guide, my counselor. And right there--is what He has done for me--He has NOT forsaken me.
You have a really honest and powerful testimony here. I'm glad you shared it!!
Cheers, Jenn.
Wanted to say that I read your post through twice, and I have to be honest here... I struggled.
I'm not a Christian (although I was brought up as one). I'm a pagan, and one of our core beliefs is in the phrase 'An it harm none, do as thou wilt'. Basically, if it's not going to harm anyone around you, it's fine. Sound a bit lax? A bit free and easy? A bit hippy-dippy? Maybe, but if I want a drink (I'm not much of a drinker anyway) all I need to think is 'Am I going to hurt anyone, including myself, by having one or two drinks?' That's it. Nothing complex, no sin. Just an adult choice as to whether my actions will do harm to the world and the people in it. Not so hippy-dippy when you get a bit deeper into it.
I think what I am trying to say is, that although I understand and respect your faith (I firmly believe that everyone has the right to find their own way to their god or goddess), all the emphasis on sin and giving responsibility over to God to deal with is just beyond me. I am responsible for what I do, not my goddess. She may guide, but the ultimate decisions are mine to make.
Urgh, I don't think I expressed this very well (and me a writer!), but I hope you can see somewhat of where I am coming from? I admire you for attempting to better yourself by not drinking (it's not good for us!), but I can't understand giving that responsibility to a God instead of owning it.
Ok, shutting up now... Good post, and good luck :o)
i TOTALLY understand what you are saying. i also undertand why it is hard to understand why it is something that i have to do. sin is such a bad word and one that as a christian i have had to understand it's meaning. if God does not want me to do something and has asked me not to and i do it then i've hurt him deeply. therefore even though i have free will (which has given me in abundance) my love for him says that i WANT to obey him. for whatever reason...this is something that He has pressed upon me AGAIN. why? maybe because it's a struggle that i need not challenge? if you read posts of my former years or even a year ago you will see that i can get a little craaaaazy.
BTW i love getting opinions!
I completely understand this. At a lady's retreat several years ago, while praying at the alter, my best friend suddenly flew backwards and hit her hear on the floor so bad that it sounded like hitting a watermelon. She was completely out and I was terrified as I prayed harder than ever. Her body grew very hot under my hands and slowly she came around.
I too struggled with my sin of smoking. I had quit drinking in 1978 by sheer will. More than 20 years later, I was still struggling to quit smoking when I went to that retreat. I bought patches to help me. On the way to the retreat, my friend and I talked about my most current attempt to quit smoking. She said she would never quit and that she liked to smoke.
When my friend "woke up", I was so relieved that I went outside and smoked a cigarette to calm down. My friend who usually smoked with me NEVER smoked another cigarette. That was many years ago now - like maybe 15 years. Me? I continued to struggle with my nicotine addiction. I am finally smoke free for the past 3 years. But, I had no miracle to help me quit. But...I am blessed to have experienced a few miracles. I am a willing witness to the power of God. I am not surprised the Lord took away your ability to feel your drink. You have lots more good to come. All you have to do is have faith enough to trust all to the Lord.
I'm happy to have come back to read blogs I have missed. I don't comment much when I find a good blogger, but once I start, it's hard to shut me up... LOL
i love your comments!!!! :) quitting smoking was one of the hardest things i ever did - but one i only looked back at twice. i'm never allowed to smoke again...
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