If you read my last post, you will know that I was left with a rather odd question to ask myself. If no, take a moment and check it out!
New Year
My question that I have to be left with is...
WHY WOULD THE HOLY SPIRIT DO THAT?
I have to assume based on what I believe, what I have been praying for (to hear the Holy Spirit), and the fact that I consider that to be some sort of odd miracle - it HAS to be the Holy Spirit.
But WHY?
WHY would the Holy Spirit show himself to me like that?
I have really been pondering this question. Praying about this question and I feel like, somehow the answer was revealed to me last night. I say "somehow" because those that know how God works the answers to our questions come in thought...that definitely does not come from OUR BRAIN.
It just appears.
And it makes sense.
BONDAGE
Bondage?
Bondage makes sense?
It was going through my head when I woke up this morning...and then with my busy day I lost it. I was trying to hold onto it, and it started to clear away like the fog. When I went to think about it a little more - it was GONE. I prayed that it would come back...
It took me SIX HOURS.
"I delivered you from bondage, why do you look back?"
That is what I feel was being pressed upon me.
Hearing that going through my head over and over and I had an image of Lot's wife. They were all told not to look back. There she was, Sodom and Gomorrah were being destroyed, and she uncontrollably needed to look back, disobeying God...only to be turned into a pillar of salt. (Gen 19:17-26).
Why look back?
God saved you from that!
I have come a long way from where I was who I was. It has been a gradual change and one that I continue to pray for more and more.
"Father, help me to serve you better."
"Holy Spirit, let me hear you.
New Year's Eve really blew my mind.
Truly.
This is what I know is true...
1. Those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. Those who indulge in sexual sin, idol worshipers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers and swindlers...when your sins were WASHED AWAY - you STOP DOING THOSE THINGS! (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
2. The Holy Spirit gives us FREEDOM (from bondage). The veil is lifted so that we may be mirrors that reflect God's glory. (2 Corinthians 3:17-18)
3. Don't get drunk on wine. Instead be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18)
4. God has given us a Spirit as PROOF that we live in Him and He in us. (1 John 4:13)
What we feel is a bondage and what God sees as a bondage is two different things. You see I have always had a good time letting loose. I felt very convicted almost a year ago, coincidentally after New Years, to stop drinking. That was when I slowed my drinking the first time...followed up with 40+ days of absolutely NO DRINKING.
I had contemplated quitting drinking for several years.
Gradually I allowed it to increase a bit.
More and more.
It was enough that on New Years I TRIED to get drunk.
I desired it.
I went for it.
In trying to understand WHY the Holy Spirit didn't let me get drunk I had to ask myself WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I HAD GOTTEN A BIT CRUNKED?
I would have had a blast.
I would have danced all night.
I would have said a lot of cuss words.
I would have been ornery.
I would have remembered everything I LOVED about breaking God's law. It would have set me back as far as my walk with God. I also really feel that I would have lacked that PROOF.
It's so hard to explain. You only know my words on paper, so to speak. My words are who I am though. I am that party animal that just goes too far. The past couple of years I feel like God keeps throwing the breaks on this part of my life that I have always enjoyed.
Over and over.
"I delivered you from bondage,
why do you look back?"
Okay, Lord - I will stop. I will stop trying to go backwards instead of pushing forward.
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Have YOU ever head God talk to you?
3 comments:
love this
I think we all get a different memo, but hopefully we get the message.
Yes I have and His voice is so gentle.
I was struggling with some hateful feelings I had for a woman in my church. She had a different sexual orientation and thought I told myself that it was none of my business, I did not want her to touch me. She was a friendly lady - a touchy feelie kind of person and I don't like that to start with - not from man or woman. She sensed my discomfort and made an issue. I sparked back at her and the hatefest was on. I hated myself and struggled terribly that I held such resentment for the woman. In my eyes, she could do NOTHING right. Fearing what hate would do to my own spirit, I entered a total fast while praying continually each time I felt hungry. After 3 days of nothing but water and prayer, I felt a lightness in spirit, so I asked the Lord to show me when to end the fast. I will never forget this. I sat doing my work when I heard the sweetest, most gentle voice say these words. "Eat my child". The love I felt in those sweet words was almost overwhelming. I will never forget that. This is not the first time the Lord spoke to me, nor was it the last, but it was the only time that it was audible.
As for the woman at church...I was able to treat her with respect. However, the Lord was not done with me yet. When I heard she was moving out of state, I had NO INTENTION of going to her going away party, but do you think the Holy Spirit left me alone with that decision? The conviction to go apologize to her was overwhelming. I went to that party and apologized for my behavior. She cried and thanked me. Several months later, she returned to Florida for a visit. God did an amazing work in her. She had returned to her husband and their marriage was being healed after her little diversion. She sought me out and thanked me again for showing her Christian love when she wasn't even able to love herself. The Holy Spirit did work on her to abandon the female lover and return to her marriage.
Thank you for making me remember that again.
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